I’ve had so many things to write for so long now. But the words stay trapped inside my heart, as though writing them out will somehow make them less meaningful.
This always happens to me…when I feel something deeply…it is just so difficult to express it in words, written or spoken. In fact, the older I get and the more life I experience, the more tongue-tied I become.
The only way I know to counteract this is to write….even when I don’t feel like I have the words. Even when I feel completely and utterly tongue-tied.
Part of the reason I’ve been struggling so much with writing is because I’m not sure how much to write. Even with a blog and social media, only a small percentage of my life is visible online. I struggle with how much to reveal. While most of the time I choose to post about the good, lovely and up-beat things, I also want to be real and open. It’s a hard balance to strike.
That being said, I will continue to write and I will go as deeply as I feel led. I’m still trying to figure out the balance, but I do know one thing – I want to preserve my family’s memories in pictures & words. I will continue to do that to the best of my ability. I also want to have an outlet for my creativity. Writing & photography is that for me.
We have a little morning tradition around here. It’s called informally “naked time.” Haha. Just a little bit of time when Baby Boy can be free from his diaper. And he loves it. I snapped these pictures one morning when his hair was still crazy from sleep and he was cooing and squirming. Not many turned out because he’s always in motion these days, but a few did and I will treasure them forever.
Even though I have dreamed about being a wife & mother since I was really young, the fulfillment of my dreams – while absolutely wonderful and amazing – has also been hard and very challenging. Because – along with the perfect and the magical – comes real life and sin nature and the reality that we live in a fallen world. Where the rubber meets the road and the working out of the day-to-day routine meets answered prayers & dreams come true. It’s more tricky than people let on.
I am reminded that no season or stage of life is perfect or painless or “just what I always thought it would be.” Yet, the images I capture on a daily basis are equal to the moments where my heart stops a little because of the beauty of life. And that’s quite a few moments. Midst the difficulties and challenges there is magic. Blessings abound.
This is my “now” and I am loving it. Soaking it up. Thanking God for it. I am blessed.