That’s how I’ve been feeling…well, for several weeks now. I’ve just felt kind of “blah.” Not like I’m depressed or sad or anything of the sort. It’s just that I feel like I have nothing to take from and nothing to give.
And I hate feeling this way. Absolutely hate it. Mostly because when I feel this way I also feel guilty. I’m not sure why. I guess I have some sort of complex. Like I have to be producing something of worth every moment of every day.
But lately, I haven’t felt like writing. I haven’t felt like using my camera. I haven’t felt like making anything. I haven’t felt like creating.
It’s not that I don’t want to…it’s just that I can’t. Or so it seems. Everything inside me feels dull. It’s ironic that I posted this yesterday on the writing blog. Or maybe it isn’t…maybe I was speaking just as much to myself as I was to anyone who might read that post.
I want desperately out of this funk. I want to feel free to create again. I want to know where and how to use my talents. And maybe that’s what this is all about…in this “in-between” time, knowing where I fit and what I need to accomplish. How to use my creative drive and where and why.
Today I gathered bright colored leaves on our morning walk. And Matt drove down the road with me to cut some burnt orange branches. They are now sprinkled around the house in vases of various sizes. Bringing color.
They are inspiring me today even though I feel so uninspired.
So, cheers to Autumn. And the hopeful return of inspiration and the desire, wisdom & insight I need to create.